This record review originally appeared in Quantum Noise No. 1, a limited-edition zine my wife and I self-published in 2006. More issues were planned, but alas, we never got around to them.

Das Torpedoes
Descendre cassette
(Animal Disguise Recordings)

This Das Torpedoes cassette is the screaming hum of my nervous system, which, as I write this, is drowning-out the world around me. Both cassette and my mind-body apparatus are working in concert erecting this droning, numb wall. Only one sound seems to be penetrating my being — some far-off, distant voice announcing train arrivals and departures. Or, is it the recording of a man paging various staff and personnel via the hospital intercom? What should be understood about this screaming hum, this droning numb wall, is that it’s not the usual (albeit rather revved-up) purr of my nervous system. This is the collective wail of hundreds of millions of cells inside me. They are wailing, screaming, and droning, from too much alcohol, too much cocaine, and too much guilt about consuming too much alcohol and too much cocaine. My insides are revolting, freaking-the-fuck-out, on the molecular level while my outside appearance remains in this state of stoned catatonia. I am shaking violently, and my head races in all directions, but you couldn’t tell from looking at me. (At least, I don’t believe so.) I guess this is how the fucking thing operates. I am examining all the universes inside of me and realizing that they are corrupt and sick. I started this pollution of the infinitesimally minute about 13 hours ago. Now I am sitting-up but breaking-down at eight in the morning on Sunday; I can’t tell where my screaming nervous system ends and the deep, distant echo of Das Torpedoes’ begins. And, why is it that I only listen to this cassette when I’m feeling like this?