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(This show preview originally appeared in the SF Weekly.)

I’m a stoned disciple of the screaming neon tribalism and laser psychedelic dance jammers by the Boredoms, Animal Collective, and Gang Gang Dance. And so are Liars because the group, who in 2005 ditched New York for Germany, killed off the retro post-punk aesthetic that made it a white-hot indie commodity just four years ago. As can be heard on Liars’ new disc Drum’s Not Dead, the band replaced the former sound with a meditative brand of drum circle space rock ritual that often drifts, evaporates, and explodes like the stellar projections of Ummagumma-era Floyd. From the shimmering neo-krautrock drones of what sounds like a synth-tabla to the band’s disembodied falsetto incantations, Liars has undergone an astounding mutation, one that most groups in its position don’t dare attempt for fear of falling out of favor with the fan base. So check this maverick out when Liars performs on Monday, June 5, at the Bottom of the Hill.

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(This feature originally appeared in the East Bay Express.)

youtubeIf you were to barge into my unlit bedroom right this second then you’d swear I was some pud-whackin’ online porn addict. I’m a 31-year-old man flying solo on a Friday night sporting nothing but a pair of plaid boxers as the irradiating glow of an iBook sears my poor retinas into crispy little fritters.

It’s not cybersex that I’m strung out on, though — it’s perusing this goddamn YouTube.

For the uninitiated (whose numbers are rapidly dwindling), YouTube.com is a free and super-easy-to-operate video-sharing network, quite similar to MySpace. It was established in San Mateo back in February of 2005 by two hotshot e-dorks, Chad Hurley and Steven Chen, who apparently created their ever-growing monster in Hurley’s garage. YouTube’s senior director of marketing Julie Supan claims that people watch more than forty million videos a day on YouTube and upload more than 35,000 new video files to its servers. Most of them fall into a handful of categories: aspiring actors, directors, and musicians promoting their work; families’ home movies; ephemera nicked from television and DVDs; unclassifiable oddities; video bloggers; and lonely souls desperately in need of friends (and maybe even sex partners).

But since I’m a hardcore record dork living in Frisco, I go YouTubing solely for rare footage of obscure and/or pre-MTV bands from the Bay Area. You see, before Hurley and Chen’s invention, I wouldn’t have had a chance in hell of viewing the hundreds upon hundreds of videos I’m now digging. Or if I did, it would have required a meticulously bargained trade with another collector for some crappy nth-generation VHS cassette. Of course, most of these clips are fairly lo-fi relics; that’s the nature of underground music. But at least I now have easy access to an exhilarating clip from Crime’s infamous late-’70s gig at San Quentin State Prison, wherein this confrontational outfit (who penned the asskickin’ anthem “Hot Wire My Heart”) dressed up as police officers and unleashed its gnarled, deconstructed riff-laden punk noise upon an amped-up assemblage of inmates.

The dude who posted this jammer, GoGoisolation (real name Paul Shirley), also uploaded videos of the Mutants live in 1978 at San Fran’s legendary punk club Mabuhay Gardens and of Tuxedomoon, a band who released a smattering of new wave electronic freakery on the Residents’ Ralph Records.

“I am trying to promote a screenplay I wrote called Go Go Isolation,” replies Shirley, an Oakland writer, after I zap him a message via YouTube asking what the point is of posting all this boss footage. “It is about that time and those bands. It’s nice to be able to refer people to a place where they can see how cool and visual the bands were in SF back then.”

Shirley kept these groups notified of his intentions and received thanks from the Mutants and members of Tuxedomoon. However, “most of Crime may be dead,” he says.

Not every YouTuber contacts the groups or the copyright holders of the content that he or she is uploading. Veg05053, who declined to reveal her actual name, and whose account was recently suspended, has posted 118 videos and counting, including ’60s-era gems from such Bay Area one-hit wonders as the Vejtables and pioneering folk-rockers We Five, as well as unhinged psych-garage primitives the Chocolate Watch Band. These choice über-rare clips, which would not be readily available if it wasn’t for VegO5053′s handiwork, are either from long-forgotten television variety shows (American Bandstand, Hullabaloo, etc.) or hippie exploitation flicks, raising — as does all file- sharing technology — the issue of copyright.

“We haven’t seen it [copyright infringement] become a major problem,” YouTube’s Supan says. “When we are contacted by copyright holders we cooperate with them to remove their content from the site. The Internet is moving in this direction, and it’s up to the content owners to choose to harness the benefit of new media distribution channels or cling to traditional, shrinking business models.”

Now, I don’t run with Supan’s e-biz jargon, but I wholeheartedly believe in the pro-user, freewheelin’ spirit that it hints at, leading me to the original architects of free music file-sharing back in them analogue days: those tape-trading Deadheads.

As you could have guessed, Deadheads are going apeshit for YouTube. SaltLakeDude (full name withheld) from Salt Lake City believes it’s “totally in keeping with the Dead’s ethos about free music. And since these videos aren’t available anywhere else, I wanted to share them with everyone.”

To date, Dude has posted 38 Dead and Dead-related clips, and he isn’t merely regurgitating that goofy “Touch of Grey” video from the ’80s. Some of his stuff is downright astounding, especially a grainy color video from 1967 of the band kicking out a nine-minute “Viola Lee Blues” replete with a fantastical psychedelic soul freakout. It’s some far-out experimental freakery that totally blows my mind.

Unfortunately, the hardened cynic inside me says, “Don’t get too utopian about this whole YouTube phenomenon. At some point you will be filling out a credit card form for all these incredible cultural artifacts.”

Until then, I’ll consider myself lucky because I get to sit here almost stone cold nude watching Harryballs’ 1985 video of Flipper slaying a San Francisco audience into submission with a snarling version of its punk-as-fuck juggernaut “Nothing,” which is what it costs me to view it. Amazing.

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(This record review originally appeared in the SF Weekly.)

ministryLeather-clad Al Jourgensen, the man who invented the faux-human-skull-lined-microphone-stand-on-wheels, is fuckin’ pissed at our warmonger president. So much so that Ministry’s new disc, Rio Grande Blood, is a virulently anti-Bush, anti-Iraq invasion song cycle. Now I don’t deny that Jourgensen (who is Ministry) believes in what he’s ranting ‘n’ raving about, but this record — from the cover art (a crucified Bush stuffed inside an oil drum) to the 10 tracks constituting the thing — is such a total caricature of nth-generation industrial rage that it’s really nothing more than an implicit affirmation of the spectacle surrounding the very thing that this slab of political art is supposed to oppose: war. In other words, if our current state of affairs were some cliched, effects-laden action flick (which it is) directed by a hack director who felt his soundtrack needed “a little bit of that Hot Topic, black nail polish angst music for the teens,” then Rio Grande Blood, with its rote jackhammer blast bleats, gratuitous number of electronically altered Dubya samples, and stereotypical wave-them-arms-in-the-air rap ‘n’ metal breakdowns, would be the ideal choice.

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(This show preview originally appeared in the SF Weekly.)

There is nothing new I can tell you about the Fall  or its leader Mark E. Smith (who really is the Fall and who resembles a mummified corpse nowadays). But I can say this: Live at the Witch Trials (’79) and The Wonderful Frightening World of the Fall (’84) are two of the world’s greatest rock albums because Smith spits lyrical venom like no other (Hit ‘em on the head with a two-by-four), and his band busts caustic, fingernails-across-the-chalkboard dance grooves that make my ass move, as if Can, the Velvet Underground, the Buzzcocks, and James Brown had all wrapped themselves into a single funkin’ behemoth. But will the Fall be any good live this time? Well, that’s always the question when the band, which has been around since ’77, takes the stage here, and it can only be answered by buying a ticket.

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(These show previews, part of the Mission Creek Music & Arts Festival, originally appeared in the SF Weekly.)

Sunburned Hand of the Man: Consume a dark, robust vino rosso from a silver-plated chalice when experiencing the electric mass that is a Sunburned Hand of the Man gig. Then allow god’s blood to dribble off the precipice of your chin, staining your tight white tee because SBHOTM are a large ensemble from New England who build shattered, stoned, and most of all sacred free-rock grooves from psychedelic noise, hawdcore, dub, space rock, absurdist theater, free jazz, and even a Caucasian funk beat or two.

Excepter: New York’s Excepter used to create a kind of floating electric shamanism: synths, loops, programs, glassy vocals, and melted dance floor grooves. But over the past year, the quartet has seen some serious personnel changes, and it’s now a kind of smacked-out electro-Doors/Residents thing creating macabre micro-hip-hop jams with a touch of Beck-styled zaniness. The results of which are way too fried for both club culture heads and noise freaks. It’s just one huge “what da fuck” any way you slice it.

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(This record review originally appeared in the SF Weekly.)

the-hermsThe Herms’ full-length debut, Record Machine, has a fitting title. Most indie rock bands these days are like computers, extracting hooks ‘n’ sounds from their fave records and craftily synthesizing them into catchy, patchwork pop — something this San Fran duo (augmented by an ever-rotating drummer) does quite well. On such cuts as “All the Things You Do” and “Get on,” vocalist and axeman Matt Lutz’s deadpan drawl channels equal portions Lou Reed, Jonathan Richman, and the Strokes’ Julian Casablancas, while the backing instrumentation on all 15 tracks cites a goddamn truckload of classics, including the punchy keyboards of the Stranglers, the angular garage of Swell Maps and the Sonics, the Moles’ minimal Brit pop, the programmed grooves of Madchester, Devo-fried new wave, and the New Zealand jangle of the Chills and the Clean. But unfortunately, Record Machine lacks two things: raw, prickly production (it’s way too flat) and nervous intensity. You see, the Herms don’t sound desperate, manic, and passionate like their heroes, something that makes me want to poke their skinny little asses with an electric cattle prod and scream, “Now rock!”

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(This non-music related piece, a total rarity, originally appeared in the SF Weekly.)

I defend the pigeon!

I defend the pigeon!

Supposedly long gone were my sullied days of crime, days spent as a young hoodlum living in some dying rust belt ‘burg in upstate New York, cruising around town in a cherry-red T-top Camaro and demolishing roadside mailboxes with a stocky aluminum Easton. But trouble — as Viggo Mortensen’s Tom Stall in Cronenberg’s A History of Violence finds out — has a way of finding you.

Here’s my story.

I’m making my way home from an awful cubicle job over at UCSF, walking down Irving Street between 40th and 41st — way the fuck out there by Ocean Beach — when I stumble across this manically chirping cardboard box with the words “FROZEN POT STICKERS” printed across the top. The noisy thing is just tossed in the gutter, tucked underneath the right rear tire of a Honda Civic. Well, when I peak inside to see what all the commotion is about, my eyes spot two scrawny, nearly bald pigeon chicks huddled in a corner, frantically flapping their featherless wings and shitting all over themselves in stone-cold fear. Their folks are nowhere to be found. So I know right then and there that I must choose one of two paths. I can leave these hapless little creatures to perish, or I can attempt to rescue them from certain doom.

I not only choose the later, temporarily feeding them a mixture of water and Wonder Bread from a syringe, I also drive them down to Animal Care and Control at 1200 Harrison Street because I naively think the joint’s in the business of actually taking care of these abandoned baby birds, which I name George and George. Anyway, the lady at the front desk notifies me that I have broken the law: San Francisco Police Code, Article 7, Section 486 makes it illegal to feed pigeons outside of five designated scenic areas within city/county limits. In fact, she even calls my attention to a three-page PDF file at www.sfgov.org titled 90_Pigeon_eng.pdf, wherein the San Francisco Department of Public Works actually encourages citizens to “report pigeon feeders to SFPD at 415/553-0123.” What’s more, all the A.C.C. is authorized to do — if I relinquish custody of the Georges — is to put them to sleep (extermination is a form of humane treatment). She then suggests that I either nurture these birds myself or, better yet, return them to where I found them because their mom will eventually find them. “Or that Honda will back up and crush their skulls,” I reply.

So now I’m a fugitive on the run with two little birds in tow, frantically posting messages to Craigslist, asking for individuals to adopt the Georges. I receive two replies within the hour. The first is a grave warning regarding the myriad diseases that pigeons carry. The second tells me of a “wildlife rehabilitation center” in San Rafael by the name of WildCare; it’s an oasis that takes in every kind of bird imaginable: pelicans, golden eagles, wild turkeys, and, yes, even the lowly gray pigeon.

Thus, the following day I make like Harriet Tubman and whisk the Georges straight out of the city and into the caring hands at WildCare, where they are given new names (#3241 and #3242) and live in this totally swank Animal Planet-styled refuge in downtown San Rafael, surrounded by lush vegetation, a picturesque creek, and massive palms. So now these two lucky fuckers are living a far better life than the schnook who saved their asses a day earlier.

C’est la vie,” I think to myself as I return to the city more than prepared for Chief Fong to haul me in and throw the book at me for making a mockery of Section 486.

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